Monday, April 19, 2004 AD
So, how was your weekend?
A reasonably eventful weekend, in terms of my journey into Wittenberg:
- It was the "liturgical tenth anniversary" of my "becoming a Christian" back in 1994 (see this recent LQ discussion, which concluded here, for details of why the phrase "becoming a Christian" is in quote marks!). The "real" anniversary was on 10th April, but it slipped my mind at the time. However, 10th April 1994 was the First Sunday after Easter, and since my return to faith was very much tied in both with the truth of the Resurrection in general and Easter 1994 in particular, it seems more appropriate to count it in "church years".
- We spoke to the pastor at our church, and he will be coming round to our house this Wednesday to start classes with a view to our joining the church in a few weeks. It's normally a 10-12 week course, but given that the first few weeks are given to topics like, "Who is Jesus?", he felt that in our case he could safely skip straight to the specifically Lutheran bits! So assuming all goes to plan, and we still want to sign up after undergoing the instruction (!), we could be admitted to the Lord's Table by the beginning of June - probably around the same time we have our younger son baptized.
- I played the organ at our old Anglican church - we left around three years ago, but I remained on the evening organ rota - and plucked up the courage not to take Communion. I'd realised only on Friday, to my dismay, that this Sunday would be Communion in the evening. I knew two things: (i) I could not, in conscience, take Communion there any more (last time, the bread and wine turned to ashes in my mouth); and (ii) the vicar, George, would go absolutely ballistic if I told him that.
In the end, though, it turned out George was off-duty (being at home but on holiday, if you follow) and the assistant minister - having less sharply-tuned spiritual antennae than George - accepted without question my suggestion that I simply play the organ during the distribution. I'd've been happy to go into the details with him if he'd asked, but given this was only ten minutes before the service began, I was quite relieved not to have to go through a long, strained conversation on the subject of closed communion.
Perhaps this was a bit cowardly, but then (as I explained in an earlier post) I am a bit of a coward when it comes to this sort of thing. Plus, not actually being a member of Christ Church Lutheran yet put me in a slightly more awkward position - by the time this issue arises again, I should be a member at Christ Church and so I'll be able to say, more straightforwardly, "I'm a Lutheran", rather than going into a fifteen minute explanation of our current situation.
Plus (i) I have now finally crossed the Rubicon and abstained from Communion in a non-Lutheran church, and having "broken my duck" without the sky falling in, it won't be such a wrench in future*; and (ii) I'll now have the opportunity to email George to explain the position and answer his queries/objections, rather than catching him "on the hop"; and also to discuss the position with our new pastor to get his views on what I should be doing. For now, I'm just grateful to God for not breaking the bruised reed or snuffing out the smouldering wick.
(I know some would say I shouldn't be participating at all in a heterodox church's worship, but - and gosh does this sound pathetic when I come to type it out - it's the only opportunity I have to play a proper church organ, and I'd need some serious persuasion to turn my back on half a lifetime of playing, and loving, the "king of instruments". But I am happy to submit to my pastor's guidance and discipline on this issue.)
