Thursday, March 25, 2004 AD
Dasani found on Mars, but not in UK
This (from this week's Onion - link won't stay live long) is funny: Coke-Sponsored Rover Finds Evidence Of Dasani On Mars
But not as funny as what's been happening to Dasani in the so-called "real world". Coca-Cola's attempt to launch Dasani in the UK has become one of great marketing catastrophes of modern times, to the innocent amusement of millions.
First, it turned out that the stuff was bottled tap water from Sidcup, prompting comparisons with the legendary episode of sitcom Only Fools and Horses in which Del Boy bottled and sold Peckham tap water under the name "Peckham Spring" (note for US readers: Peckham is a notoriously unprepossessing inner-city area of South London).
Now, Coca-Cola are smart people, and they'd probably factored the "Sidcup Spring" gags into their calculations. "We'll be able to ride that one out", they'll have thought. "And anyway, we can always force people to stop selling other water in our fridges. Not pretty, but that's capitalism. Let Buxton Water buy their own darn fridges."
But then the wheels fell off, as Coke were forced to withdraw all Dasani stocks following the discovery of excessive quantities of the chemical bromate, arising as a result of their "purification" process. Coke have now shelved plans to launch the product in continental Europe and to reintroduce it in the UK: "now is not the right time to bring it back to the market".
Schadenfreude is an ugly, un-Christian emotion, of course: but still, it would take a heart of stone not to laugh like a drain at all this...
But not as funny as what's been happening to Dasani in the so-called "real world". Coca-Cola's attempt to launch Dasani in the UK has become one of great marketing catastrophes of modern times, to the innocent amusement of millions.
First, it turned out that the stuff was bottled tap water from Sidcup, prompting comparisons with the legendary episode of sitcom Only Fools and Horses in which Del Boy bottled and sold Peckham tap water under the name "Peckham Spring" (note for US readers: Peckham is a notoriously unprepossessing inner-city area of South London).
Now, Coca-Cola are smart people, and they'd probably factored the "Sidcup Spring" gags into their calculations. "We'll be able to ride that one out", they'll have thought. "And anyway, we can always force people to stop selling other water in our fridges. Not pretty, but that's capitalism. Let Buxton Water buy their own darn fridges."
But then the wheels fell off, as Coke were forced to withdraw all Dasani stocks following the discovery of excessive quantities of the chemical bromate, arising as a result of their "purification" process. Coke have now shelved plans to launch the product in continental Europe and to reintroduce it in the UK: "now is not the right time to bring it back to the market".
Schadenfreude is an ugly, un-Christian emotion, of course: but still, it would take a heart of stone not to laugh like a drain at all this...
