Confessing Evangelical

My wife and I finished watching the first series of 24 on DVD the other day (thought this would take months, but we got hooked and finished it inside three weeks). We even watched the so-lame-they'd-shoot-a-horse-for-less "alternate ending".

Alternate endings seem pretty pointless - unless it's the alternate ending to Casablanca discovered by Bart and Lisa Simpson (Lisa: "An alternate ending to Casablanca! Bart, this could be priceless!" Bart: "Priceless like a mother's love, or the good kind of priceless?"). Here's an extract:

(As Ilsa's plane takes off and disappears into the fog, Rick and Louis walk off together.)

Rick: Louis, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

(Louis pulls a gun on Rick. Sam, who had been sitting at his piano on the tarmac, notices.)

Sam: Look out, Rick! He's packing heat!

(Sam knocks his piano at Louis, knocking him unconscious.)

Rick: Good work, Sam. C'mon, I'll buy you a falafel.

(Hitler pops out from inside the piano.)

Hitler: Not so fast, schwartenheimer!

(Hitler pulls out a grenade, but before he can throw it, Ilsa, in a parachute, lands on top of him, shutting him inside the piano. The grenade explodes inside.)

Ilsa: Hope you don't mind my dropping in.

Then there was Martin Prince's equally valuable film reel labelled, "Alternate Ending -- Luke's Father is Chewbacca" (sold by his mother to Comic Book Guy for $5, as part of a job lot that also included a handwritten script for Star Wars by George Lucas, and Princess Leia's anti-jiggle breast tape).