Confessing Evangelical

Who'd've thought that TS Eliot - not a man with a reputation for being a cheery soul - could have produced one of the masterpieces of comic verse: Macavity: The Mystery Cat. There really is no excuse for not reading the whole thing, but here are some of my favourite lines:

Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw—
For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime - Macavity's not there! [...]

Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in. [...]

He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard's.
And when the larder's looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,
Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke's been stifled,
Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair -
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Macavity's not there!

But even "(They say he cheats at cards)" or "another Peke's been stifled" have to take second place to this glorious couplet:

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.